and as the years pass i find myself
going back to my high school friends.
because with all the changing
there was something lost
though i know we're getting better
it was at a cost.

I've always known I'm just not built for 9 to 5s. But it's getting harder and harder to survive. Suit up, stay alive? Or fight. Fight.

you took me to the top of some building
watching the political city stretch out with political lights
saying, the tuition is worth it just for the view.

I was ready to move there, thinking of June.
Like, everything would be better if I were older.
Like, you'd love me if I had been a bit bolder.
No. This was not my place.
I was still a child looking for a dream to chase.

You weren't the dream, you were maddening at best.
The shot in the dark, New York City, burned in my chest.

Never mind May, it's nearly June.
I am so tired of this fucking room.
So escape escape escape or don't.

The boy of my dreams is not the man I am seeing.
Remorse hits the back of my head as he grazes my body.
In this changing weather, I just don't know any better. 

this is complicated, see
even when we feel good
it's not really what's meant to be
i look into dreams and see
he's a little shorter and a little off
daydreams about how light
comes through a window onto my face.
points out how these beams and bricks make up a space.

we walk around a city, cameras in tow
we walk around a field, cameras in tow
and you are kind but you just don't know
that in that last sunset or the final abyss
i don't see you there at the end.
i see a painter, a poet, a dreamer,
the best background singer in a band
hand in my shaking, frozen hand.

Forever Wendy amongst all these lost boys.

Save a spot on your bed that you hope is for me. It won't be.

They told me his love was a test I refused to digest. I guess. I felt nothing in my chest. Prove me otherwise, but all I try to do is see the good in you. Love wasn't ever there, it changed names as many times as I changed my hair. Last year it wasn't so clear - I walked the edge. Save a spot on your bed that you hope is for me. It won't be. First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes a cage.