you used to talk to me till i fell asleep i like slipped through your hands then. i used to walk with you to feel the weigh of it so try to look alive alright?

(from my LJ, january 2009)

snippets of writings from my livejournal

the life i built in this city is being thrown to the wolves that lived in the deep wood of my childhood. i've never made it out of here with clear eyes, but as the fog of a love affair lifts, i could guess why. [28 february 2009]

when you hear words you've waited years to hear
the ice on your body melts.
it flows into the hudson with everything else
and i'm looking up the river
at this girl i used to know
who had this hundred year headache
even when her world moved slow.

she wonders why i don't visit
she wonders why i don't call
she asks her if i miss her a bit
i don't think i miss her at all
and if she ever came down here
i'd have to turn my heels away.

and he could say
sorry a million times over but i'm not
i gave what i gave, got what i got
it wasn't because i was just a wreck or
something, i know it wasn't my fault
[16 march 2009]

i'm feeling peculiarly self-destructive tonight.
like tired of keeping up the good fight.
nine times out of ten i'm strangling this nostalgia as it comes out of me.
and i'm still kicking up dirt in the midst of this life,
nowhere near where i wanted to be.
[27 april 2009]

i wish i knew what i took to live in a daydream
spin around the pinwheel and look in
the inner tube flipped over when i was a kid
and what defines me now is what i did.

he read me my rights hundreds of pages deep
you are not what you make but the company you keep.